Depression

Symbol of MY Depression: A Black Rose

How would you describe Depression??

Dictionary.com sates:

depression (dɪˈprɛʃən)
1.the act of depressing or state of being depressed

2.a depressed or sunken place or area

3.a mental disorder characterized by extreme gloom, feelings ofinadequacy, and inability toconcentrate

4.pathol an abnormal lowering of the rate of any physiologicalactivity or function, such as respiration

5.an economic condition characterized by substantial andprotracted unemployment, low output andinvestment, etc;slump

6.meteorol cyclone , Also called: low a large body of rotatingan

d rising air below normal atmosphericpressure, which oftenbrings rain

7.Compare elevation (esp in surveying and astronomy) theangular distance of an object, celestialbody, etc, below thehorizontal plane through the point of observation



Would you or Could you describe it through Photos what would you put it as?? A Graveyard? A Beer? Someone Sleeping? Pills? Medication?




I Would have to describe My Depression as ALCOHOL. It could be 12:00 pm or 5:00 pm and sometimes even as late as 11:00 but when I stress out or feel like my life has no purpose (which sadly said happens more so than ya think) I want to drink. I feel like it gets rid of the pity feelings. I go numb. I can go from crying hysterically to not caring either way. That is how I would describe depression, not caring. And there are more days that I

would consider myself depressed than days that are normal. I have been to therapist, counselors, vacations, jobs, concerts, you name it and I have tried it. NOTHING HAS HELPED!!! I still can't find Gods purpose. My Life Sucks. I can put on a fake smile, which I am really good at, but if you really knew what I was thinking you would be shocked!!! I promise you that!

Depression can and will kill you. I am honestly saying someday's I wish it would kill me. Whoever has said or made the comment that suicide is for the weak, has never tried or considered it. It is a lot easier to think suicidal thoughts than it is to go through it. Now I am not commending people who have went through it and committed suicide I am just saying its not as easy as you think. I cannot tell you how many times I have thought about it. And if it was so easy and if it was for the weak then why I have not gone through with it yet?? It takes a strong person who believes fully what they believe in to actually do it. Suicide is a dirty, nas

ty thing. I am not perfect by no means, but I have thought about it. I have been weak, and still couldn't do it.

Depression is dirty, its nasty. Leads you no where and leaves you with nothing. And dont think you can pick out the depressed people. Be more warey of the ones that look like they have it together, because there isnt a day that goes by that I don't think about it. Be careful of what you say and who you say it to!! Always. You just never know!!

But I can say one thing - - If I have made it this far, there is hope, and you can do it too!!! Because I, like everyone else in this world starts off as a single rose above the deadly thorns and have blossomed into a bouquet of multiple beautiful roses. I have been through the black roses to get to the LIVELY ones!!!

Fav. Quotes of The Day!! :)

Sometimes this is the hardest thing for me to understand, I was just even discussing this when talking about my fathers death. But I have MANY, MANY more circumstances that have affected my life tremendously that I wonder more about God's Timing. So when I saw this quote I fell in love with it!! This has to be one of my favorites!

This quote speaks for itself!!! I just hope its true!!

Day to forever Remember

JANUARY 28TH, 2010 I LOST MY FATHER., MY HERO, MY INSPIRATION, MY BEST FRIEND!!!! Every day I miss him. I know you hear people say that they think of their lost ones everyday but often you wonder do they really waste time of the day thinking of the past. And my answer is YES. I spend minutes sometimes hours reminiscing and wishing things were like they used to be! I can hear a song, or see the beer Guinness, or walk into our old house, or even read his blog he used to keep [scotthagler.net] But I think of him EVERYDAY. I can see a wedding and just want to cry because I know he will never be able to walk me down the aisle, but ha at the same time I honestly doubt I will ever get married. The only thing that changes year to year is watching certain people move on with their lives, and sometimes it feels like they are letting him go. That is difficult. Seeing my mother talk to other men hurts bad, hearing her say things about my father kills me. I know he wasn't perfect - - he used to drive me INSANE but he still was MY FATHER!! Life sucks sometimes and most of the time we wonder why and what we did to deserve this and does God really know the plan he has for us, because dern if he didn't give me a very very difficult ride!!

I love my dad more than anything and i miss him every day. January 28th will always be a day to REMEMBER!!

i miss you dad.

When you look at this picture, you see the beauty of the flower. You see the multiple layers of Gods great creation, a piece of work that took time and genteelness! You do not even think about the thorns underneath, the thorns that could cut you the deepest, and even possibly draw blood and bring you to shed a tear.

That is what I like to think I am. I want to believe I am a Rose. A single Rose in a huge garden. That when you look at me you see the beauty inside and out. You can see that I have many layers of life's adventures. Some are old and torn and ready to fall off but all allows me to move on, but its still apart of me, the rose I am. I don't want people to see the thorns of my life. I don't want to bring people to a tear or fear to be around me. I have struggled for months on out but its now time to blossom again. To be the beautiful Rose I am. I believe we are all Roses in this Garden, Children of the world! SHOW YOUR BEAUTY TO THE WORLD!!!

That is my goal for this blog, to shine new light on new topics. To reflect on the bad times and show how we can make the best of them. Today marks the day of New Beginnings. I believe in me and I believe in you. I will not hold back and I will tell all. I have made my fair share of mistakes and regrets but I feel I still have the opportunity to become the Rose I know I can be!

" I'm proud. Proud of me! I've fought to keep going and succeeded, I felt like giving up but I never did. I kept going. My experiences have only made me more determined to fulfill my dreams and live life to the fullest. I guess what I am trying to say is that I won. And I always will because there is nothing anyone can do to me that will take away who I am." - no name

[Picture taken by Haley Tury @ Rose Gardens in Downtown Raleigh]